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Astrology is a hoax, although Scorpios are quite accurate.

Being a Scorpio should be illegal. It should be considered a war crime. It should be a rule that you can only look at a Scorpio from a distance of two hundred metres while wearing protective head gear. If you are a Scorpio reading this, please stop. You're smiling in a way that I don't like. In the film The Ancient Demons, one of the old devils orders this guy to fuck off. He does it in a really forceful and disproportionately vicious manner, like "fuck off," and then he "laugh(s) quietly for a brief time, shaking his head in indulgent self-reproach." That's how the Scorpios do things. They are quite aware that they are dreadful creatures, and they find it HILARIOUS. If you are a Scorpio reading this, please stop. Go fuck yourself.
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